"Ooh, Las Vegas,
Ain't no place for a poor boy like me..."
- Gram Parsons, "Ooh Las Vegas"
Ain't no place for a poor boy like me..."
- Gram Parsons, "Ooh Las Vegas"
I spent last weekend in Las Vegas. It's a truly mental place. In fact, "mental" may have been the most over-used word of the weekend.
I flew in from Charlotte on the Friday night, to meet up with some colleagues that had flown in from London. McCarran airport was absolutely packed with weekend revellers, and the taxi rank queue was about 15 minutes long. I headed to our hotel, the Luxor, which is a great big glass pyramid with a spotlight shining out of the top and into the sky, all with a faux-Egyptian theme. After dumping my stuff I headed out to meet up with the chaps, who were already well into the gambling at a neighbouring casino. Vegas casinos are utterly bizarre places - row after row of flickering, bleeping slot machines, blackjack tables, craps roulette, etc etc, with ladies of the night tottering around trying to drum up business. All completely cut off from the outside world - no clocks, no windows, and a convoluted signpost mechanism that somehow makes you walk through the whole casino, no matter what your destination. Some genius must have come up with that. Mutton-dressed-as-lamb cocktail waitresses stalk the tables, offering free drinks to the gamblers - you only have to give them a buck for a tip, on the assumption that you'll piss away much more gambling than you ever will propping up the bar.
After downing a couple of beers to get me started, we headed to the next casino, New York New York, which was like a miniature polystyrene version of the real thing. There was a mini Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Chrysler Building, etc. Even a footbridge modeled on the Brooklyn Bridge! There were similar casinos further down the Strip, including the Paris with a mini Eiffel tower and Louvre, and the Venetian with tiny canals and Bridge of Sighs. We tried to get into a couple of clubs, but it being late and us being a group of 4 chaps, we had a bit of trouble. The rest of the night passed in a bit of a blur as we staggered from casino to bar to casino, though I remember at one point we narrowly avoided paying $30 to get into a gay club. I think we had breakfast back at the Luxor at about 5am. While waiting for breakfast I decided that now would be a good time to start gambling, and went to what I took to be a blackjack table and slapped down $20. One lost bet later, I realised that it was actually a three-card poker table, so it wasn't long before I was back tucking into my pancakes.
Waking up at lunchtime, the next afternoon was spent lazing around by the Luxor pool in absolutely scorching weather, chugging beers and admiring the lovely ladies (or which there were plenty in Vegas). Imagine 4 English chaps with their tops off, turning lobster-pink in the sun with beer in one hand and fag in the other, and you're about there. We probably weren't a pretty sight.
That evening, we tried to get into one of the most popular clubs in town - Tryst at the Wynn hotel. We must have queued for about an hour before giving up and wasting several hours and a lot of money at the Irish-themed casino next door - it was the place we found with the lowest minimum blackjack bet - $10. I think I must have lost about $150-200 (strangely, the ATMs only seemed to dispense $100 notes - wonder why they do that!), and the other boys did similarly badly. We were hardly high-rollers, but we had a lot of fun. The rest of the night descended into drunken debauchery, and we finally walked back for breakfast at about 8am, admiring the sunrise over the desert. Gorgeous.
The final night was certainly less hardcore, but we did go on some absolutely ridiculous rides at the Stratosphere, the tallest structure on the Strip. The view from the top was magnificent, but struck fear into your heart knowing what was to come next.
First up (bottom picture) was a ride that shot you up in the air from the tower, before gradually bouncing you back down like some sort of inverse bungee jump. Belly-in-mouth stuff, but nothing compared to what was to follow. Next (top pic) we went on a sort of merry-go-round that dangled over the edge of the tower. As the ride got faster your chair angles outwards under the centrifugal force, till you had nowhere to look but down at the strip several hundred feet below. The coup de grace though was the final ride (middle pic), a truncated roller-coaster that shot you out over the edge of the tower and dangled you over the edge. It then holds you there, staring at the drop before pulling you back and launching you over again, dangling you at an even more ludicrous angle. It was horrible...
After that, we weren't really in the party mood, and retired to bed. We were offto Utah the next day, which was about as contrasting an experience as you can imagine...
I flew in from Charlotte on the Friday night, to meet up with some colleagues that had flown in from London. McCarran airport was absolutely packed with weekend revellers, and the taxi rank queue was about 15 minutes long. I headed to our hotel, the Luxor, which is a great big glass pyramid with a spotlight shining out of the top and into the sky, all with a faux-Egyptian theme. After dumping my stuff I headed out to meet up with the chaps, who were already well into the gambling at a neighbouring casino. Vegas casinos are utterly bizarre places - row after row of flickering, bleeping slot machines, blackjack tables, craps roulette, etc etc, with ladies of the night tottering around trying to drum up business. All completely cut off from the outside world - no clocks, no windows, and a convoluted signpost mechanism that somehow makes you walk through the whole casino, no matter what your destination. Some genius must have come up with that. Mutton-dressed-as-lamb cocktail waitresses stalk the tables, offering free drinks to the gamblers - you only have to give them a buck for a tip, on the assumption that you'll piss away much more gambling than you ever will propping up the bar.
After downing a couple of beers to get me started, we headed to the next casino, New York New York, which was like a miniature polystyrene version of the real thing. There was a mini Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Chrysler Building, etc. Even a footbridge modeled on the Brooklyn Bridge! There were similar casinos further down the Strip, including the Paris with a mini Eiffel tower and Louvre, and the Venetian with tiny canals and Bridge of Sighs. We tried to get into a couple of clubs, but it being late and us being a group of 4 chaps, we had a bit of trouble. The rest of the night passed in a bit of a blur as we staggered from casino to bar to casino, though I remember at one point we narrowly avoided paying $30 to get into a gay club. I think we had breakfast back at the Luxor at about 5am. While waiting for breakfast I decided that now would be a good time to start gambling, and went to what I took to be a blackjack table and slapped down $20. One lost bet later, I realised that it was actually a three-card poker table, so it wasn't long before I was back tucking into my pancakes.
Waking up at lunchtime, the next afternoon was spent lazing around by the Luxor pool in absolutely scorching weather, chugging beers and admiring the lovely ladies (or which there were plenty in Vegas). Imagine 4 English chaps with their tops off, turning lobster-pink in the sun with beer in one hand and fag in the other, and you're about there. We probably weren't a pretty sight.
That evening, we tried to get into one of the most popular clubs in town - Tryst at the Wynn hotel. We must have queued for about an hour before giving up and wasting several hours and a lot of money at the Irish-themed casino next door - it was the place we found with the lowest minimum blackjack bet - $10. I think I must have lost about $150-200 (strangely, the ATMs only seemed to dispense $100 notes - wonder why they do that!), and the other boys did similarly badly. We were hardly high-rollers, but we had a lot of fun. The rest of the night descended into drunken debauchery, and we finally walked back for breakfast at about 8am, admiring the sunrise over the desert. Gorgeous.
The final night was certainly less hardcore, but we did go on some absolutely ridiculous rides at the Stratosphere, the tallest structure on the Strip. The view from the top was magnificent, but struck fear into your heart knowing what was to come next.First up (bottom picture) was a ride that shot you up in the air from the tower, before gradually bouncing you back down like some sort of inverse bungee jump. Belly-in-mouth stuff, but nothing compared to what was to follow. Next (top pic) we went on a sort of merry-go-round that dangled over the edge of the tower. As the ride got faster your chair angles outwards under the centrifugal force, till you had nowhere to look but down at the strip several hundred feet below. The coup de grace though was the final ride (middle pic), a truncated roller-coaster that shot you out over the edge of the tower and dangled you over the edge. It then holds you there, staring at the drop before pulling you back and launching you over again, dangling you at an even more ludicrous angle. It was horrible...
After that, we weren't really in the party mood, and retired to bed. We were offto Utah the next day, which was about as contrasting an experience as you can imagine...
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